On My Mark...

In four and a half weeks, both of my children will start school again. All day. Six hours.

I'm excited.
I'm scared.
I'm really excited.
I'm afraid of jinxing it!

I don't know of a single mother of young children who does not anticipate this day, when they will have a real break from tending. Certainly there are other things that will demand attention; I'll no longer have those two handy excuses for not doing all the laundry hanging around. But for me, there's an extra bonus.

I get to go 'back to work'.

I'm rushing to finish up at least the last chunk of the practice story, so that I can leap right into some original work come the start of school. I'm determined to make the most of my time. I have other chores that need tending, and I'll no longer have an excuse not to do them. That's ok. But the last time I had really good chunks of available time, I wasted them, and I have carried that regret for nearly ten years.

I am determined not to make that mistake again.

A friend of mine pointed me in the direction of an author, who's work I've come to not only love but very much respect -- and by respect, I mean 'become thoroughly intimidated by'. This amazing author just won a RITA for her work, which is basically the Oscar of romance fiction.

I suspect anyone who seriously contemplates writing romance fiction wants a RITA. Are you kidding? Of course! Of course I want to be considered that good by my peers. But I am actually finding that I want the work, the long hours, the endless revisions -- I genuinely want the process, as well as the rewards. For the very first time in my life, I want the actual work. Somehow I managed to let go of (or maybe just stuff) at least some of the intimidation I've always felt, or maybe just always indulged in, so that I enjoy the work almost more than I enjoy fantasizing about winning awards.

Now admittedly, in the middle of February in a snowstorm in the basement at 4am, I may feel less enthusiasm than I feel writing this. Then, I'll probably enjoy the fantasizing more. Probably a lot more.

But anyway, I won't get there without doing the actual work, putting words on paper and trying to piece them into something entertaining. And in 4 and a half weeks, I'll get six hours a day to do exactly that. It's not too much to say I'm all a-tingle with the idea.

Wow!